Weird things people start doing when they turn parents
Melbourne [Australia], August 10 :We are only humans, so it's normal for us to play power games with one another, without letting the other know.Take for instance, the siblings' politics, or the lovers' mind games, or even the haggling game between street vendors and their customers.
To think that parents would have it easy with kids, because "the older, the wiser", you couldn't be more wrong.
Ask a parent of a little kid how the 'parenting game' is working out for his/her, and they'll tell you the most ingenious ways they have had to come up with, in order to oust their kids. If you're a parent, you wouldn't stop nodding along with each point, but if you're not, then beware!
These weird parenting things, reported by news.com.au, will sound weird to your normal ears.
1. THEY SPELL THINGS OUT
Because kids can't; not easily, at least.
This is one way parents communicate with each other in front of their children, when they don't want the latter to know whatever they are talking about. It includes spelling out those words which kids either get excited on listening, or get cranky, and of course, the swear words!
"It's time for S-C-H-O-O-L"
- "What? School?"
*Kid starts crying*
2. THEY MAKE FAKE PHONE CALLS
The threat calls they pretend to make to the teacher, or that scary villain from the bedtime story.
"If you don't eat your dinner, I'm calling your dance teacher and tell her you're not doing the concert"
*phone isn't on*
3. THEY WILL TIME YOU
When the kids are least bothered to do their job, parents try to make every job a race. It works though!
"Clean up your room. You only get five minutes"
"I should see you breakfast finished by the time the needle reaches six on my watch"
4. THEY CAN HAVE TWO CONVERSATIONS AT THE SAME TIME
Parents are proficient at this kind of multi-tasking. Their minds have adapted to the fact that their kids are tornadoes, wrecking everything in their path. Hence, while they converse with you, their mouth is also spitting out instructions to their kids.
"Yeah I can definitely do lunch at Grilld. DON'T LICK THAT . Do you wanna do 12 or 1? DON'T RIDE THE DOG, I can probably pick you up on the way PUT YOUR UNDIES BACK ON!
5. IF THEY HAVE TWO KIDS, MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME
If one of them doesn't get exactly what the other possesses, it's officially World war III.
6. SAY THINGS ARE BROKEN WHEN THEY AREN'T OR SHOPS ARE CLOSED WHEN THEY AREN'T
The simple lies parents tell their kids, while they are still naive enough to buy such lies.
The little one wants ice-cream? "Oh no! The shop just closed for the day" (No, they did not)
They are adamant on playing on your phone? "Oops, it broke today, so not possible" (It did not)
While every parent has unique parenting tricks up their sleeves, these are the most common ones.