'Tridev' actress Sonam pens emotional note about her journey with autistic son

Mumbai, April 2

On Wednesday, the actress took to his Instagram, and shared an array of pictures with her son Gaurav Rai. The post features throwback pictures and some new pictures as well. She also penned a long note in the caption, as she shared how she found acceptance with her son’s autism.

She wrote, “No two autistic children or adults are alike. They are like fingerprints. Unique. As a young mother at age 20, I actually grew up with my son who is autistic. It was the 90s. People didn’t even know the spelling of Autism and even if a few knew, there was a thought process which screamed that Autism was a stigma. Along with zero awareness, zero integration, zero empathy I had to hear lines like, ‘Isko koi problem hain kya?’ (what is wrong with him), ‘Isko mental problems hain kya?’(Does he have mental problems). I would go with my son to birthday parties, either we both were totally invisible and if visible, we were sniggered at. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being bitter. (they didn’t know better. Some still don’t know better that’s ok too)”.

The actress further mentioned that she would come home from parties or social gatherings and invariably start crying non-stop all alone in the bathroom after her son was fast asleep. She called it an extremely tough journey during which she used to hug her son and sleep.

She shared, “One night while my son was fast asleep, I got this huge sense of strength which overwhelmed me. That night, I decided that I had to learn a few things the hard way, for him & myself (details some other day), which I gladly did and happily so. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a struggle but mostly, with both. I can be extremely stubborn if I decide to do something, that too if it’s for a good reason”.

She continued, “Here, it was my son. I hate sympathy. Now I don’t even need empathy either. I would like to thank @rajiv_rai_ for being an excellent father till this date. He spared nothing monetarily in the education of our son. If my experience helps even one family or that one mother or that one father, I would consider it to be a win! So, here are my thoughts for everyone, who are caregivers to children or adults with autism. Today, my son at 32 is a kind, loving & caring person”.

“There is so much more to write, so much more to learn but for now, Autism to me is A - Acceptance U - Unconditional love T - Trusting the process I - Introspection S - Slow & steady support M - Motivation. Be relentless & advocate neurodiversity. You can do it! You shall do it”, she added.

Sonam was married to producer-director Rajiv Rai, with whom she worked on ‘Tridev’ and ‘Vishwatma’. The two have a son Gaurav Rai, who was diagnosed with autism at an early age. In 1997, the couple left India for the UK after a failed attempt to kill him by hitmen believed to be working for the Mumbai underworld leader Abu Salem.

The couple initially lived in Los Angeles and then settled in Europe. However, the marriage deteriorated, and they got divorced officially in 2016 after 25 years.

— IANS