"There's nobody to blame here except yourself...": Jennifer Lopez says divorce from Ben Affleck led to deep self-reflection
Washington, June 16
Actor Jennifer Lopez has spoken candidly about the personal growth and healing she experienced following her divorce from Ben Affleck, revealing that the end of her marriage prompted a period of deep self-examination.
In a recent interview, the 'Office Romance' actress reflected on the changes in her life over the past few years.
Lopez said she recently moved into a new home and acknowledged that "everything in my life has changed over the past couple of years," as quoted by People magazine.
While discussing her current phase of life, Lopez described the emotional journey she has undergone since her split from Affleck.
"I'm also staring down- what is my life now? The past 20 years, it's been one thing, the past five years has been a tumult, and then the last two years has been kind of the healing process from that tumult where I really got to know myself," she said, as quoted by People magazine.
"The person I am today is so different than the person I was even two years ago, it's crazy. And now I can really look at my life, appreciate it for what it is and what I've created for myself and be really happy," she said.
Lopez also spoke about moments in her life when she felt overwhelmed by the consequences of her own decisions and circumstances. Reflecting on the aftermath of her divorce, she said she intentionally stepped back to focus on herself.
"And after my last divorce, I just sat there and I was like, I canceled my tour and I sat there and I was just like, 'You need to f---ing figure yourself out. What is going on with you? Forget about everybody else. There's nobody to blame here except yourself, in a certain way,'" she said, as quoted by People magazine.
She clarified that she did not place all responsibility for the divorce on herself, but said the experience encouraged her to examine her own patterns and choices.
"Not that people don't behave in a way that's not great, but [I asked myself] 'What are you doing? What do you have going on?'" Lopez said, adding, "And that was a turning point for me. That was a couple of years ago now."
Lopez also highlighted the importance of self-reflection. "By the way, everybody needs to do that at some point in your life. It's part of being human," she said.
Lopez and Affleck first dated and became engaged in the early 2000s before ending their relationship in 2004.
The pair rekindled their romance in 2021 and married in Las Vegas in 2022. Lopez filed for divorce in August 2024, two years after their second wedding ceremony in Georgia, and the divorce was finalized in January 2025.
Despite the split, the former couple have remained on friendly terms. Affleck attended the premiere of Lopez's film 'Kiss of the Spider Woman', which he co-produced.
— ANI
Reader Comments
It takes incredible courage to admit "there's nobody to blame but yourself." Most people would rather point fingers. JLo is showing real maturity here. This is the kind of accountability we need more of, whether in Hollywood or Mumbai.
The way she talks about sitting alone and figuring herself out after canceling her tour... That's exactly what we Indians need to learn. Our society doesn't encourage introspection, especially after a divorce. We just jump into the next thing. Kudos to her! 🧘♀️
I respect her honesty but I do think she's being a bit hard on herself. Marriage is a two-way street. Ben Affleck also has his issues. But yeah, focusing on your own growth is always a good thing.
First Brad Pitt, then Marc Anthony, then A-Rod, then Ben Affleck twice... That's a lot of high-profile relationships. Maybe she does need to pause and reflect, as she's doing now. In India we'd say "jab tak hai jaan" but after multiple divorces, it's time to look inward. Wise words from her.
I find it interesting that she says "there's nobody to blame except yourself" then immediately clarifies she doesn't blame herself entirely. Bit contradictory. But overall, the message of self-improvement is solid. Everyone hits a low point and needs to rebuild.
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